Neal and I knew each other from our teenage years in Dorset, meeting through our mutual friend, Chris Greening. 

We had always liked each other from afar, but for various reasons which seem ridiculous now, had not managed to get together then or in our twenties, when we both ended up living in neighbouring streets in Clapham after leaving uni.

As we started our respective careers, Neal was relocated often around the UK, and my parents rather inconveniently moved to Scotland, eliminating my opportunity to return to Dorset for weekends or holidays. In the days before social media, this meant we lost touch, until years later when, thankfully for us, LinkedIn suggested me to Neal as a person he might know. 

He grasped the opportunity to reconnect, sending me the message ‘How the hell does this know that I know you?’ How could a girl not be intrigued by such a subtly romantic message? 

We started to exchange messages, occasionally at first and then more regularly as we reestablished our friendship. As a Bristol uni engineer, along with my Dad who had died the year before, Neal pulled some strings at the Uni library to borrow a copy of my Dad’s PHD which I’d never seen before. I’m not sure he’d ever seen inside the library before then either….

We arranged to meet on 9 Feb 2012 in Bristol so Neal could give me the dusty book, and explain what the obscure research meant. It was a pole-axing moment…. within minutes of meeting up it felt like I was home, and I knew  that here was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. 

I couldn’t tell Neal that obviously, but 6 months later, we were both in a position to start a relationship and we dived headlong into it, and I relocated to Bath to be with him. 

It was perhaps a concern to our friends and family that we raced ahead with many life changes in a short period so that we could be together, requiring me to change job, Jack to change school, and Neal’s children having to share their beloved Dad with a stranger. Somehow we made it work, and here I am 12 happy years later having another pole-axing moment, as Neal is no longer here. 

But they were the best 12 years, and as I look back over the photos in the gallery, I’m struck by how lucky I am to have had the gift of Neal in my life for that time. I just adored him, and he brought love, fun, silliness and colour to my life, as well as being my best friend and soul mate. 

Neal was never one for ‘what ifs’, and it’s especially hard not to have those thoughts now. So instead I must focus on what I had, not what I have lost.